July 10, 2014
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When I was a kid my goal was to be a microbiologist and the mother of 15. I got sidetracked and it didn’t work out that way. For years I felt worthless because my life leapt off that track like engine number 9. I saw my peers fulfilling all of their dreams. Later when I went back to college, I figured I would try an easier path and double major in psychology and social work but my heart wasn’t in it. So I was no happier than when I was feeling like a failure. Fast forward until today, I still have fears and sometimes they stop me in my tracks. But I no longer beat myself up for it. I acknowledge my BS and work through it. I practice giving myself the same support that I give to others. I remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect to be valuable, I just have to be authentic. I don’t have to be brave, I just have to keep going. Sometimes, it is not that easy but no one else can walk for me so I have no choice. (Well, I guess I do but I can’t see me just giving up the ghost like that.) I say all of this to say, even if it’s not the life you envisioned it is LIFE. Live it!
May 28, 2014
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I’ve been on a jewelry kick lately: not wearing it but making it. I’ve had a great deal of fun setting up my improvised work bench, selecting tools, selecting materials and playing with fire. My husband purchased a torch for my 40th birthday but I didn’t use it until after this last birthday. I tend to get tools and materials but then my
frugal cheap side kicks in and makes me just hoard things because I’m hate to waste anything. I finally bit the bullet because I was tired of just playing with my micro torch. I’ve made some rather lovely (if I do say so myself and I do) flame “painted” copper pieces. I’ve always loved copper as a good Arizonan should (it’s one of the 5 C’s of our state: citrus, copper, climate, citizens and something else that I can’t remember right now.) I’ve been working with it as the main element of my jewelry for a few years. I started with different gauges of wire but as the pics will show I have graduated to sheet and tube copper. (My next goal is to work quality turquoise and lapis lazuli into my designs.
The majority of the components in these pieces are handmade, from jump rings to the closures. The only portions that were ready made are the stringing material, beads and felt used for backing. I still have a clasp to make for the necklace but I’m feeling pretty darn accomplished. I wish I knew how to keep the flame painted colors vibrant. The initial colors are beautiful but as you work with the pieces some of the patina is rubbed away revealing subtly elegant coloring. It’s beautiful too but I’ve never really been the subtle type. I guess that’s part of the fun though; never knowing exactly what you are going to get. I guess it’s a lot like life in that respect. Some of my most beautiful moments have happened because I went full tilt even in uncertain situations.
Since I am writing this from my phone, the pictures will be in another post called Craft Time Pics. Hope you check them out.
Craft Time Pics
May 28, 2014
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My phone decided that I should do two posts instead of one. So if you would like the explanation behind these pictures,click the link.
May 22, 2014
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If anyone in Phoenix is planning on voting for Marcelino Quinoñez, Roosevelt School district #66 board member, for any office I would caution you. After meeting him twice and personally engaging with him once, I feel as if he is just paying lip service to the cause of excellent education. I spoke with him about the lack of a gifted program in the district and explained that my children would be going to a charter school next year. Instead of assuring me that my concern was valid, he chose to bad mouth the school I chose. He told me that Bernard Black had received a B rating. That my chosen school had only been open for two years and only had a D rating. I attempted to explain that while the rating at my chosen school was low right now, so was Black’s when I enrolled my students two years ago. I went on to explain that from the research that I had done on my chosen school, that the conditions seemed to be a better fit for my children to thrive. His response was a smug and condescending “well you can make the decision that best for your children, of course.” To me a more fitting response would have been, “I understand your concern. The budget has not allowed for a dedicated gifted program but I will discuss your concern with the other board members. I wish your children continued success wherever they attend school.” But I guess it’s kind of hard to come up with talking points outside of campaigning for the next office you plan to hold. (He won the school board election in 2012. He is running for district 27 state rep now. Seems that the school board position was only to get his foot in the political door.) I personally will be voting for whoever runs against him because we have enough non civil servants in the game.
April 24, 2014
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The month of April is usually full of excitement as it is my birthday month and 16 years ago I also gave birth on the 1st day of April to a beautiful baby boy. (Well, he’s actually considered handsome now and he tends to chap my hide. 😉) But this April has been kind of challenging. I started the month mourning the loss of my Aunt D.A.P. (It was the second death since November so you know I was taking it really hard.) I made sure to make my son smile for his birthday since he had reached the milestone of driving and working age. Then my oldest told me she would be moving to her first apartment on the 16th. While I was excited and happy, I felt a profound sense of loss. The family dynamic would change. I would be apart from someone I’ve lived with for the last 22 years. I’m not real good at accepting change but I try to roll with the punches. But before she moved out we celebrated my 41st revolution around the sun. I realized that I have been stuck in a mild depression for a couple of years. I really don’t find the same joy in my hobbies or day to day living that I used to have. I thought it was just the consequence of getting older but it’s not. Still haven’t quite found my way out of it but at least I have an action plan. I know I have to get around it in order to fulfill my goals. Until then I can’t do anything but take it one day at a time… I digress. I’ve also adopted a guinea pig named Charles Alexander Jackson. My daughter could not take him to her new place. So now I have 5 of my 7 children, a dog, several fish and a guinea pig, and my awesome husband to give my all to; another challenge that I must master. I am also dealing with the death of home. I only have one home place left to count on. My grandparents home (and the place were I was made) will be auctioned off in June. While it is “just a house” it is the house that they, my father, aunts and uncles built with their own hands. Their blood, sweat, tears, laughter and spirits reside within the plaster and floors. That is the last place I can go to feel my Grandfather, Grandmother and 3 of my Aunts. That is where I go to remember who I am. I am dreading the sale. I’m thinking about going just to see who buys it. Either way it’s just like mourning my family all over again. So yeah, April has been a bit challenging but at least I’m breathing.