My Perfect Life
May 21, 2012
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I have had people talk about my perfect life. They compliment my perfect marriage or my awesome children. They tell me that they wish they could be a “Kept Woman” or a “Woman of Leisure”. I just look at them and wonder what in the hell they are talking about. Just because I am happy in my life does not mean that it is perfect. It just means I am satisfied that things are going as well as can be expected.
My husband and I will be married for 18 years in August and we have been together for almost 20 years. That does not mean we have a perfect marriage, that just means we have worked through the bullshit that could tear us apart. I love this man with all my heart. I would not trade him for another husband. But that does not mean that he doesn’t work my last nerve. He is a neat freak and I am not. I would probably be a hoarder or at least a serious pack rat if he didn’t keep throwing my shit away. He reads my fucking journal because he wants to know what I am thinking when I don’t feel like talking about it. I know I get on his nerves. My mouth is filthy and caustic. I don’t think before I speak and therefore some of the shit I say makes me cringe. He accepted that I left in our 7th year of marriage and had a child outside of our marriage. He gave my child his name, love, and fatherhood. So while not perfect it is still a great relationship.
My kids are awesome but they are still assholes. I mean I am their mother. Yes they are honor roll students but that just makes it easier for them to be smart asses. I have one who has chosen to be homeless at 17. He has spent time locked up for tresspassing. I am on probation right now because he is an habitual truant. He uses any and all drugs that come his way. I love him with all of my heart but I don’t like his ass. I hope that one day this will change but I don’t know. I have a 20 year old who is spoiled beyond belief. I don’t see her and her girlfriend getting their own spot anytime soon. My 14 year old keeps trying to tackle me because he wants to prove his gangsta. ( He is taller and more muscular than I am, so it pisses him off that I am still stronger and quicker. That is left over from my time as a hoodrat gangbanger.) My 12 year old is a sarcastic motherfucker that makes me want to break my rule about calling folks “bitches”. I have a 10 year old who has regressed in behavior due to the fact that I had another boy 18 months ago. And my 8 year old has split personalities like the Gemini she is. I also have two dogs and two hermit crabs. These motherfuckers keep me on my toes 24/7 because if I slip, it will be mutiny.
I say all of this to say no one’s life is perfect. Everyone has issues and stresses. Some people just choose to focus on the great parts. I am one of those. I love my life and would not change it for anything. Not even to have a perfect life because where would the fun be in that?