Eccentric and Bent

Come on a fantastic voyage in the backwaters of my mind.

Category Archives: poetry?

DAP


She wore her scars like armor but if you got passed it, it was amor. Battle ready at all times but full of that LOVE DIVINE. The battle between light and dark is damn sure what gave her that spark. A smile on her lips could disguise the murder in her eyes. See she could kill your dreams with kindness, never a cruel intent, she was just a warrior that said exactly what she meant. And if you crossed her, it was yours to bear. Call up your gods, say a prayer but to her love nothing compared. Like a roller coaster with dips and crests, she lived this life, doing her best. And finally she is at rest.

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Depression or Just Unmotivated?


It’s been a while since I posted. The last posts were related to the death of my grandmother, Mrs. Irene Lujan Primous. From that point until now, I haven’t written anything more than some FaceBook statuses. Poetry left, my essays dried up and my short stories have no imagination. I thought I was just going through a down cycle, as they have happened occasionally in my life. I always viewed these cycles as times I was subconsciously recharging my creativity. They have been viewed as periods of rest for a super active mind. I have just recently had what some may call an epiphany; I may just be depressed. I battled with what a doctor diagnosed as manic depression from the childhood until about age 27, when I decided to take life as it comes. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those who believe that therapy is a racket dreamed up by folks to push pills and make money. I just knew that constantly rehashing the BS of life wasn’t helping ME. I needed something different and eventually I found it. I guess the reason I am unsure about whether this is depression or a motivation issue is because the only “symptom” I am exhibiting is a lack of desire to partake in some activities. Yes, these are the activities that make up the facets of my personality but they aren’t the sum total of me. I’ve still been eating, laughing and spending time with my loves. I’m not withdrawn or angry. I just haven’t had any desire to engage in my god complex. 😜 I’m still putting out (what I think is) inspiration. I still feel happy on the surface so could I really be depressed? I really don’t know but I hope whatever this season is ends soon because I have another death to deal with. I know I would be able to process my grief better if I could “create” it out of existence. So what do you think my problem is: depression or just unmotivated? >

Dragonflies


thoughts flitting through my mind 
like dragonflies
skimming over the surface
scared 
of what’s underneath
If I get to close 
will I drown
bog down
’cause my wings are wet
just hovering
making me nervous
I can see
into the depths
not into the unknown
here and back
there and here
around and around
just skimming the surface
wishing 
I could dive
but I am scared
of what’s underneath

In Your Eyes


it is in/ your eyes that/ I find myself/ without you/ there is no me/ left/ prayers fall/ from my lips/ not/ exactly/ what they seem/ I am awake/ inside/ a dream/ more alive/ inside/ when you bring/ my small death/ passion flames/ make/ nerves/ sing/ it is in/ your touch/ my holy sin/ I find myself/ with you/ there is much/ right/ prayers fall/ from my lips/ not/ exactly/ what they seem/ a trance/ quivers/ and shakes/ loves dance/ together/ we soar/ ecstasy and pain/ in my roar/ exotic treasures/ we/ mine/ in order/ to attain the divine/ you exhale/ my inhalation/ you bring/ about my devastation/ whispers/ of breath/ escape/ while/ you caress my hips/ seduced/ I am/ reduced/ because it is in/ your eyes/ that I find/ myself